Early Retirement

I know it is early in the game, but I am ready to retire. It can't be good if I am this willing to throw in the towel. Things are not as they appear. And I may have rushed into things with graduate school. Part of me still believes that I wouldn't have the gumption to get back into school at a later stage in my life. What if I don't have the capacity to retain and successfully deal with things at 23. Are my anxieties originating primarily from academia? Or in some extension of this realm? Most of the negative that I encounter is probably linked. 

There are a lot of territory issues... I wasn't aware that I was such a menacing bastard. I thought I was going out of my way to be nice and make friends. Here's a metaphor: esme goes to a new dog park. As soon as she get off her leash all the other dogs go up to her and growl and back. She rolls onto her back to show everyone she doesn't mean any harm. And from then on she plays happily with all the other animals. What if she were to roll on her back and one of the other dogs attacked her? (Well IRL I would fucking kick the shit out of the dog that did that) But speaking in hypotheticals, that would be absurd and the other dog's owner better fucking step up and pay for the vet bills and not act like it was esme's fault. See what I am saying? 

Probably not.

On an unrelated note, Pitchfork rated this album Beast Rest Forth Mouth by Bear in Heaven best new music. So I got this album. Sophomoric. There are parts where it feels like it starts to go somewhere. But I end up wondering "are we there yet?" I hope Pitchfork isn't slipping.

I remember!

In August before school officially started, I was asked to clean and do repairs on UNLV's b&w darkrooms. While going through peoples' shit I found a roll of unprocessed film that had rolled under some cabinets. I asked around to see if it belonged to any of the students, but it didn't. So, I kept it until now (November) and I processed it tonight. And there are actually some decent images on it. I think it was shot with a 6x7 camera. I may scan the negatives in later. Really, I am just shocked that I remember how to do any traditional b&w photography. I have been assisting teaching it, but until tonight I didn't know if I could actually do it.

Also, I got some film back from Los Angeles yesterday that I am incredibly happy with. Mostly I just am amazing that I found a business who actually take pride in what they do, and this place most certainly does. And I bought a Contax T2. It was super cheap, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Uh. Large Format images to come in the near future as well.

NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING

I feel like I have done nothing whatsoever. Ever. I have a problem with trying to be productive. I feel like since I moved I have not been productive at all. Except with paying bills and running errands. Also, I have read books. That's pretty much it. No art. I may have peaked. 

New Warpaint Video - "Stars" - Video - Stereogum

New Warpaint Video - "Stars" - Video - Stereogum

This video is so beautfiul.

Butt Passion

Even though I have mixed feelings about Kanye West... 

WE WERE ONCE A FAIRYTALE BY SPIKE JONZE & KANYE WEST
Uploaded by teleTOC. - Check out other Film & TV videos.

... I love Spike Jonze. 

FAT CATS

http://www.tutztutz.com/2008/09/top-15-amazingly-fat-cats/

This is good

http://nymag.com/arts/art/features/59651/

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

Since late 2007 I have been compiling a lot of images. With my arrival to Las Vegas, I have been sorting through these files. I am slowly starting to pick and choose images to display out of this massive collection. I have digital files as well as slide film, color negative, and traditional black and white. It is both depressing and exciting for me to go through these/display these. But I am trying really hard to stop kicking my own ass. 

Ashley will be arriving here in a few hours and I am dying to pick her up from the airport.

Björk & Dirty Projectors @ Housing Works Bookstore, NYC 5/8/09 - Photo - Stereogum

Björk & Dirty Projectors @ Housing Works Bookstore, NYC 5/8/09 - Photo - Stereogum

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My First Photograph In Las Vegas

Jordan, Las Vegas 2009

Rarities And B-Sides From Markham's Bedroom

Rarities And B-Sides From Markham's Bedroom 2009

Memento Mori 2009

Untitled 2009

Click on the image to view it larger.

Francis Bacon Sandwich

Well. It appears no matter where I go, I cannot escape myself. I am probably my own worst enemy. With as much fighting myself and my own ideas as I do, it would seem I would be able to sleep soundly each night. Yet I am tossing and turning every night. My jaw is beginning to lock up the way it used to and I don't know what to do. I am taking new photographs. I have been scanning new negatives. I have been re-scanning old negatives. None of it seems right. I spend too much time looking at other peoples work and comparing myself to what they are doing. Not enough time trying to show what I am doing.

I am doing things. But when I am looking at what I see I frequently am unimpressed. So much of the work that I am exposed to is either aesthetically boring or conceptually boring. Sometimes just all around poor. Shitty point and shoot documentary of the mundane. It seems like the number of "artists" and the number of "photographers" are increasing at an alarming rate... and I don't believe even 1/100th of them are talented enough to deserve any recognition. Especially when the talent lies primarily in the process that is left up to a device rather than an individual. For example, I would like to submit my work to a competition that I have been following for quite some time... well the other day I was lurking their blog and noticed that someone who I know in a sort of off hand way was one of their highlighted entries. HIS WORK FUCKING SUCKS. Nothing to it. Pisses me off.

I really would like to show what I have been doing....

You Can't Go, All The Plants Will Die.

Kid Cudi & Ratatat Bring "Pursuit Of Happiness" To Letterman - Video - Stereogum

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Not Sure How I Missed This One Previous

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

Wah Qum Ba Twin Ta Ef Renz (Between Two Ferns) W/ Zac Effron (Zach Galafinakis)

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

One of the best yet.

I'm not a doctor, although I have been known to dabble in pharmaceuticals

Modern Romance

This is done so well.

The original version by the YYY makes me weep.

The film is great though.