We got cats actin like lifeguards, lifeguards actin like cats?

Oh sweet, sweet goodness. This is the moment I never thought would come. I have finished sending off my graduate school applications. Twelve schools. Hopefully I will get into at least one program, although I doubt I will get into any of the really good ones I applied to because for some reason I applied to every top photo MFA program. I would be pleased to be accepted into just one program, so if that goal is accomplished then I am happy. I just can't believe I did it though. Sending things off was incredibly difficult. Statements. Cds. Forms. I am dizzy remembering that business. 

I taught myself coptic binding this week. I like it and think it is a lot of fun. Also, on a related note, I had a dream that I beat the shit out of one of my professors. Weird. I am helping Alan move today. I always get a little sad when moving because I remember times spent at wherever the place is, even if I hate the place I still get a little nostalgic. This is never good seeing as how I do most everything I can to forget most memories I have. Oh well. Speaking of Nostalgia, while cleaning my desktop off this week, I eventually moved to the interior of the desk and came across many memories. This is not unusual. One is bound to uncover relics with memories attached in a situation like this and of course I did. The unusual thing was, during the hour I was laboring away I received two phone calls from old friends and like 7 messages/comments on various networking sites. Kinda weird. And related to this, Feb. 2 is in two days...

Anyways, I got a letter telling me I have a photograph that will be published in an upcoming issue of Photographers Forum for making it into the Finalists group for a grant I applied for several months ago. Also, the same photograph will be published in an upcoming book called Emerging Photographers of 2009. So that is exciting and I wish I could have had that on my resume for all these schools I just sent my resume to. But it is okay. Alan is waiting on me. Let me find some videos to tide everyone over real quick.

Apparently this is what I am like frequently. I am okay with that.

You Don't Belong Where the Humans Eat

Ah. I have spent like 25 hours in the studio this weekend. Not consecutively but over like three days. Actually, I am trying to do the math in my head and I may have underestimated that number. I also may have destroyed my computer by taking it to the ceramics studio. Oh, I guess that I should clarify that point, I have been at the ceramics studio, not photography. I have some work in the future that I thought would work well as three dimensional pieces used in performance and installation but also as photographs and maybe a short film. I am super stoked on getting the process down, even if it did take up my whole weekend. 

So, I have been heavily researching book arts (another course that I am taking) and the stuff baffles me. A large portion of the things that I have come across on the internet were not good. Or maybe I am spoiled because we have Doug. His work kills me. I was getting worried because I kept having ideas pertaining to book arts...I know, I know this is ludicrous right? I mean I only do photography?! No. I need to not worry about this. I need to worry about how to tie in my aesthetic into my books. I will probably end up doing something polaroid cameras. Oh well. I love Polaroids, don't get me wrong, but I just feel like it would be a cop out for me. I would like to do more than that. It seems like and easy solution to me. I do have some ideas in the future though, and I will definitely be doing those before the course is through. Taking four studio courses and trying to seriously make decent work in all four of them makes me think that I must be absolutely mad. So much work. Lemme see if I can show you something nice though...

If Alan and I were in Justice...

Also, Alan has some new stuff going on with his site so everyone should go look at it. AND! Mt St Mtn has a song up on their myspace. So look at those please.

Fowl Mood (Intentional)

I am in a foul mood. I don't know why. I want to delete all of my music off my itunes. I hate when I am restless like this. I usually end up shaving my beard or doing something to how I look. I have to stay focused. A shark dies if it stops swimming.

A buffet! If only I had my wallet with me...

Currently I am drying my handmade paper via oven. Out of eight sheets I have finished four. I am relatively happy with them. I made them with kudzu that I picked the other day. While boiling the kudzu I got really sick and threw up a lot from the smell. I couldn't open my windows though because I have stuffed stolen towels into them to keep my apartment warm.

I spent over a hundred dollars the other day at the flea market, but I got so many amazing things. The majority of it was school related, but I did find a lot of books that I bought to actually read and not just tear up. Sixty-one books total. Probably half of those are going to be destroyed. Or rather, I am going to use them to make stuff.

enjoy:







This is why I live.

Jokes

Pjs (apparently stands for projects, thanks late night television)

I need to list the projects I am doing so I don't forget anything.
This is in no sort of priority other than how the thoughts leave me:

Ongoing Project with Hunter Dasten

Country Boy Can't Survive*

Car project that necessitates collaboration with Alan, Seth, and Mt Saint Mtn

Keg with university boys

Den of Lions shirts

Mower with a chubbs on it

Cock Face

Shotgun :O (<--- that's right I went there with the emoticon)

John robo-bikes

40 hands

  

Performance project with Chad (this will probably involve numerous other people)

Potentially organize a show for this

nun?

             cave9?

     other spaces?

Work with Jonathan Hicks

Tree installation

Articles for Sky, which are actually for green cup magazine (they have a clever name that escapes me)

Correspondence with Adam to make something happen

Potentially something with Craig in Canada

Den of Lions limited run of CDs

Table Tennis for BFA Show (Jan. 29th!)

More Stuff with Alan

Tan lines when the sun comes out

PPO mother stuff

Cord

C Sweater

Body and Face

Ceramics

Bike

Performance piece

Books about Dixie

Maybe something with Ben

Tuxedos with Alex for Valentines Day Race (going to be hilarious)

Now that I have bored everyone who would bother to read any of this, I will post humor... posthumously post humor. Ha. okay.

Speaking of p.s. Alan and I worked on some of my old film images and found gnar gnar images of Markham and Meredith. Not together. But I will try to post those soon. and maybe put them onto my site.

*Fictitious statement was made when I said there would be no priority to these; tabs are subcategories of the headings.

Hamburger Hopscotch

John presented the class I was in yesterday with a fucking bad ass format. When I talked to him over the break, he described the format of the class to be "a more post modern way of teaching". He has lived up to his words. I came in late as usual so they had began without me, but they were telling jokes. John wanted everyone to tell a joke, which he tied into how humor is related to art. I am not sure if you know this, but I am incredibly interested in post modernism so I was more than enticed by this way of going about things. I think that the indirectness draws you in and can appeal to more people. I am not able to write on this topic for some reason. People keep distracting me. 

I have countless productive things that I need to be doing, but I am not. I needed a break. This weekend I have to gather a SHITTON (pronounced shh - it - ton) of kudzu. I am driving south to photograph a strange parade. I have a doctors appointment. I need to work on three books. Fuck I suck. Hmm Accordion fold, Pamphlet Sewn signature book, and some sort of monstrous fold monster. I am going to look for some stuff to use for this today. Tomorrow also. Down south. Monday I make paper. I need to call around about acquiring deer parts such as hide and antlers. Shit, I also need to go up to the studio and work on stuff for ceramics. And I need to photograph something at a party tomorrow night. Goddamn-it. Oh and I still need to finish that stupid fucking web-cam shit on my site. Of course there are still five more grad applications too. Ugh. 

Countless books to read. Countless things to do. I don't understand how anyone can ever get bored. There is always so much to do. 

Oh. 

"Craigslist Penis Photographer" featuring Bob Odenkirk - watch more funny videos

For Alan

*Points to eye* "...And this is where they rebuilt my face the second time!"

Graduate school equals sodomy.

Or rather, deadlines. I am getting bent over by all this business and I don't even know for sure if I will get in anywhere. Or worse yet, I don't know if I will get in to somewhere I don't necessarily want to go...

I know, I know. If I applied there then I must want to go; Why would I apply to schools I don't want to go to, its a waste of money. HUGE waste of money. Well I want to go to any of the schools I applied to and although I say I am not picky, I think I actually am slightly choosey. Fuck it. Worry does not help.

I have successfully frightened a large portion of my classmates by constantly making inappropriate jokes about pedophiles and mustaches and theft. Apparently people don't realize when I am serious and when I am kidding; I don't mind that one bit. Speaking of which, I hung out with my old roommate John last night. We are like an relentless tag team of wit. We went by Forstall to pick up some of my supplies for the semester and he was lurkin' all over the place. But shit really got hot and heavy when we went to U China Buffet! Shit. I don't know about other people, but I Fucking LOVE Chinese buffets. Totally authentic all you can eat Chinese food. MMMMM Slam city. For real though, what could be better grounds for our conversation: Asians, All you can eat cold meats, Soft-fucking-serve Ice Cream, Obese Families talking about incestuous orgies? Money. I definitely got my ten dollars worth. Came back to my apartment and watched the roast of Flavor Flav from a few years ago. OH FUCK. Shit was on point. Snoop Dogg, Patton Oswald, Carrot Top, Ice T, Katt Williams (who is surprisingly hilarious). Needless to say my stomach hurts from convulsions. Oh and John gave me 4 gbs of gangster rap; unfortunately I have so little space on my hard drive that we weren't able to fit the entire library of Tupac*.

Right. So I was kicked off the torrent I have been using. Damn. It is back to radio rap for me. I had something to say and I forgot what it was...

Oh, go look at my site, I have added new work and changed some things around. Rainbows. That's right. There are Rainbows on my site. Gorgeous. http://www.yay-fredmitchell.com <-------- peep that, yo.



*I fucking love Tupac.

Anyways.
with love and squalor,
f.

Alan Barton Owns

Originally uploaded by alan.barton

Last summer, after a long day of working hung over as hell under a hot beating sun, I was coming home on my bike. I was excited about getting off work and I was pedaling really quickly. My bike is fixed, and at the time, although I had breaks, I didn't use them. Also, my left toe clip was missing. I was going about 30/35 mph when I lost control. I tried to regain composure and get my foot onto the quickly rotating pedal but it was to no avail. My foot hit the handle bars that were already wiggling.

First my head broke my fall. Luckily, I wasn't wearing a helmet. Next my shoulder. The tangled mess of bike and legs flew over my head; I proceeded to skid for several feet down the hill in the middle of the road. As I stood, I felt like my shoulder was out of socket so I tried to pop it back in. Bad idea. I dragged myself out of the road without getting hit by any cars and then I started screaming for help. Two Samford professors, with names I unfortunately don't remember, helped me out and took me to my house. Ashley got a voicemail of me screaming because I thought I had pressed end but the phone was still on.

In the emergency room with Ashley I cried like a little bitch. Not because of the pain, but because I thought I would lose my job coaching swimming. Ashley kept going off to help me with stuff and when she wasn't next to me I had time to notice the children. All of the kids were pointing at me, horrified because I was bleeding from my head, arms, legs, shoulders, and back. My clothes were destroyed and they had to take me back immediately because the kids were starting to cry and point at the sight of me.

God Plays Favorites, So Should You

I am awake. I applied to UNC Chapel Hill yesterday. Somewhat of a relief to have one of my 13 schools out of the way. I am going to be fucking broke when this shit is over. I need to go get groceries on the for real. Bachelor Party with Tom Hanks is on and today is New Years Day. For the first time since I started destroying myself, I stayed in on a New Years Eve. I was completely sober also. I can't exactly place what was so weird about the whole situation. Maybe it's the medicine, or the level of stress, or something i just don't know how to pinpoint. I have been working unusually hard to maintain friendships that I thought were incredibly important. Christmas was the eye opening experience though. For fifteen years I have called certain people and made a point to let everyone know what they mean to me. This year I didn't do that. It was weird. I got a phone call from the people who I have always called, which was great. I love my extended family who I adopted through my life.

Calls are one thing. Texts are another. If I am in the same town though...I would have just thought that things would be different. But somehow, I always knew things would end up like this. I am ready to leave now. There is nothing here for me.