Early Retirement

I know it is early in the game, but I am ready to retire. It can't be good if I am this willing to throw in the towel. Things are not as they appear. And I may have rushed into things with graduate school. Part of me still believes that I wouldn't have the gumption to get back into school at a later stage in my life. What if I don't have the capacity to retain and successfully deal with things at 23. Are my anxieties originating primarily from academia? Or in some extension of this realm? Most of the negative that I encounter is probably linked. 

There are a lot of territory issues... I wasn't aware that I was such a menacing bastard. I thought I was going out of my way to be nice and make friends. Here's a metaphor: esme goes to a new dog park. As soon as she get off her leash all the other dogs go up to her and growl and back. She rolls onto her back to show everyone she doesn't mean any harm. And from then on she plays happily with all the other animals. What if she were to roll on her back and one of the other dogs attacked her? (Well IRL I would fucking kick the shit out of the dog that did that) But speaking in hypotheticals, that would be absurd and the other dog's owner better fucking step up and pay for the vet bills and not act like it was esme's fault. See what I am saying? 

Probably not.

On an unrelated note, Pitchfork rated this album Beast Rest Forth Mouth by Bear in Heaven best new music. So I got this album. Sophomoric. There are parts where it feels like it starts to go somewhere. But I end up wondering "are we there yet?" I hope Pitchfork isn't slipping.

I remember!

In August before school officially started, I was asked to clean and do repairs on UNLV's b&w darkrooms. While going through peoples' shit I found a roll of unprocessed film that had rolled under some cabinets. I asked around to see if it belonged to any of the students, but it didn't. So, I kept it until now (November) and I processed it tonight. And there are actually some decent images on it. I think it was shot with a 6x7 camera. I may scan the negatives in later. Really, I am just shocked that I remember how to do any traditional b&w photography. I have been assisting teaching it, but until tonight I didn't know if I could actually do it.

Also, I got some film back from Los Angeles yesterday that I am incredibly happy with. Mostly I just am amazing that I found a business who actually take pride in what they do, and this place most certainly does. And I bought a Contax T2. It was super cheap, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Uh. Large Format images to come in the near future as well.

NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING

I feel like I have done nothing whatsoever. Ever. I have a problem with trying to be productive. I feel like since I moved I have not been productive at all. Except with paying bills and running errands. Also, I have read books. That's pretty much it. No art. I may have peaked. 

New Warpaint Video - "Stars" - Video - Stereogum

New Warpaint Video - "Stars" - Video - Stereogum

This video is so beautfiul.

Butt Passion

Even though I have mixed feelings about Kanye West... 

WE WERE ONCE A FAIRYTALE BY SPIKE JONZE & KANYE WEST
Uploaded by teleTOC. - Check out other Film & TV videos.

... I love Spike Jonze. 

FAT CATS

http://www.tutztutz.com/2008/09/top-15-amazingly-fat-cats/

This is good

http://nymag.com/arts/art/features/59651/